A Candid Conversation with a Maid of Honor: Unveiling the Essential Duties and Experience

A Journey as the Maid of Honor

The Maid of Honor, a cherished figure in weddings. She is the bride’s confidante, support system, and best friend all rolled into one. Standing by the bride’s side throughout the journey, she assists with wedding planning, offers emotional support, and helps create unforgettable memories. With a heart full of love and an eye for detail, the Maid of Honor plays an integral role in making the bride’s special day truly magical, ensuring that every moment is filled with joy, laughter, and unwavering sisterly bonds. 

Likely if you are reading this, you have been elected as a Maid of Honor, congrats! Now, you are probably wondering what are the essential duties to fulfill, what’s the experience like, and how to become an exceptional Maid of Honor. Well, there are no hard and fast rules on how to be a good Maid of Honour, and honestly, there is no better way to anticipate the duties ahead than to listen to a real Maid of Honour’s experience.

For our first Real Weddings segment, we have a candid conversation with a Maid of Honor– Ruyi, where she shares her experience and a concoction of tips for being a Maid of Honor aka the ultimate wingwoman.

Anne: What did it mean to you when you asked to be the Maid of Honor?

Ruyi: As the title goes, honour. But not in the sense of great achievement and testimony to our friendship, but a feeling of trust and gratitude. The fact that she wanted me there on their cherished day was more than enough for me to accept the role. 

Anne: As with what everyone else who is reading this article wonders, how did you prepare yourself to step into the role of providing support for the bride throughout the wedding planning process?

Ruyi: Like any challenge that comes my way, I tend to tell myself that the butterflies in my stomach and jitters in my hands are not anxiety but excitement. Unrealistic positivity always allows you to perform more than realistic pessimism because by thinking you can do it you’re always one step ahead. And so the one piece of advice I would give is to find the heart to be excited about this role! Seriously, fake it till you make it, and don’t be daunted by the tribulations ahead. This positivity is infectious and by doing so you become a safe haven for the bride to come to for emotional support and repose. 

Anne: It can become emotionally daunting for many Maid Of Honor, so how did you manage your own emotions and responsibilities while balancing the expectations of the bride and other members of the wedding party? 

Ruyi: As mentioned before fake it till you make it, believe in yourself and it’s going to happen. Engage in some level of compartmentalisation and always have the kindness to be the bigger person in situations after all the bulk of the stress lies on the bride’s shoulders, and it’s our job to lift it off hers. I have heard of guests giving unsolicited advice or complaints that the Maid of Honor or bridesmaids seem too “free” and not doing their job. To that I’ll say pay them no mind, again, compartmentalise and set aside whatever rousing emotion you feel to complete the task at hand. 

Anne: How has this experience impacted your relationship with the bride and others involved in the wedding?

Ruyi: I have worked with my bride in school before and the reason why we have become so close since is our ability to have non-judgmental conversations. By working together to complete a project our relationship grows stronger and her wedding is no different. I believe that the inner circle of the couple’s wedding had this common sense that nothing is more important than the bride and groom’s happiness. With that, everyone cooperated well with only good intentions and I only grew closer with the bride as well as everyone else. 

Anne: If you could describe your Maid of Honor experience in three emojis, which ones would you choose and why? 

Ruyi:

• 😭 Because I was brimming with emotion and tears of happiness for the bride.
• 🤝 You got to work hand in hand with everyone! 
• 🧗‍♀️ I felt like a belayer who is there for the bride to rely on and catch a fall every time the need arises. 

Anne: Last but not least, if you were to write a Maid of Honor survival guide for future bridesmaids, what advice would you give? 

Ruyi:

• Communicate. Communication is the foundation of success. Stay in constant contact with the bride, listen to her needs and concerns, and offer your help wherever possible.  
• Be the mediator and point of contact (basically an extension of the bride)
• Be amidst the whirlwind of wedding planning, and be ready to adapt to any unexpected situations that may arise. Your problem-solving skills and positive attitude will ensure a smooth and enjoyable journey for the bride.
• Be all hands on deck with the planning but do note to respect the bride’s decision!
• Have fun!

Words from author

Being a Maid of Honor is not just about fulfilling a ceremonial role; it’s an opportunity to create cherished memories and provide unwavering support during one of the most significant moments in a person’s life.  Most importantly, cherish the moments you share with the bride, as this is a unique opportunity to strengthen your friendship and create unforgettable bonds. 

May your journey as a Maid of Honor be filled with love, laughter, and beautiful memories that will be treasured for a lifetime.